2nd best Christmas present ever...

The birth of Jesus was the best gift ever given to mankind... The second best gift WE have ever received is the gift of seeing Jonah. 

On December 5, just one month after we sent our home study to Korea, we got the call that we had been given a referral. Just a few days before that, I sent an email to our agency asking when we might hear something.  The response was "shouldn't be long now, wink wink" which nearly drove me crazy. ;) Turns out wink wink meant she already knew but couldn't tell us yet. :) 

The next day, we met with our local agency to get a huge packet of information, more paperwork, and pictures of our boy. We wish we could share them but we are not allowed to post identifying information online until his adoption is complete. HE IS ADORABLE! We can share that he is 1 year old, he is healthy, and he looks happy in his foster home. He even looks a little like Zach in one picture, which is such fun!

We fell in love immediately! Zach commented that it feels real now :) he was the one that said "let's go get the crib!"

So the past few weeks have been very busy. That first week we had to get the file to our doctor to make sure there were no medical surprises. We contacted the local International Adoption Clinic, but never heard back :( but that's ok, we weren't going to turn him down. We had a HUGE pile of paperwork to do, with about 30 pages requiring a notary seal. We got fingerprinted at the USCIS (immigration) office and actually just received the permission to adopt today! The BIG task of that week was that the agency fee AND the overseas fee (totaling $25,000) were due with the referral paperwork. Talk about a leap of faith!!! 

We were so blessed in the timing of it all. With the silent auction just the weekend before the referral, it's hard not to see Gods hand working to create the perfect timing in this process. He is definitely the Author of this story. 

We were able to combine donations and our savings, and ended up getting a much smaller loan than we thought we would need.  That in itself was a huge blessing.  We still have not heard from Lifesong, so if we receive a loan or grant from them, that will help us pay back this loan immediately, then all loans can be paid off when we get our tax credit after the adoption is finalized. 

The majority of the cost has been paid and now we work to replenish our bank account ;), as well as save up for traveling to Korea (possibly twice) and my maternity leave. 

The time frame we have been given is 4-6 months before we travel but that is just an estimate. We would travel next week if we got the call! So once again, we WAIT, knowing who he is and praying constantly for Gods protection over him, his continued development, his foster mom, his birth parents- that they will have peace in this situation, and for us, as we learn to be patient. 

It's amazing how much we love him :) 

We say this constantly but we really are so grateful for God's blessings in this journey and the wonderful people He has brought to support us. What a wonderful Christmas gift! 

Over a big hill!

Well the adoption dinner was a success! After months of letter writing, phone calls, emails, repeating phone calls, and bugging everyone, we gathered $12,000 worth of items for the auction. We ended up with about 80 people attending the dinner/silent auction. With auction items, raffle tickets, and donations from friends (some old, some new) and family, we raised a great amount. 

What an amazing blessing! I have to admit I had my doubts occasionally. Neither one of us is great at asking others for help, accepting generosity, or having no control, but that's what we are learning throughout this process.

We are so grateful to God for providing as only He can, and for using others to both support and encourage us. It was such a blessing to see old friends as well as meet new friends. Even from a distance, friends and family jumped in to support us. We will be sure to tell our child that so many people helped to bring him home. We are not finished yet, but this has made a huge impact in the big picture. 

The most recent adoption update:

 Our paperwork was hand delivered by our adoption agency on Nov 7, the day after our anniversary. We had heard that this would most likely be a quick process, whatever that means.  Yesterday I finally got impatient and emailed for an update.  The reply was "it won't be long now, wink wink". I have no idea if that means any day now or any year now. How frustrating for a planner! We just have to keep being patient, but I will confess, all I want for Christmas is a picture of my Jonah. 

We have our fingerprinting appointments for the USCIS (immigration) next week, so that's progress. We just keep waiting for the referral! 

Thank you again to all of you who are praying and encouraging us! This is no easy journey, but we know that God is faithful to complete what He has begun and we are so glad to have so many people behind us, beside us, and ahead of us-support in every direction. :)

Ps if you missed our dinner, you should go check out this website.  http://thearchibaldproject.com/videos/

We showed "This is Archie" and "Journey to Eliana" during the dinner, but they are all wonderful examples of what adoption looks like. Get your tissues ready :) 

                 A beautiful cake by the wonderful Angie Browning. It was so good, there was none left!

                                  our wonderful friends also on the adoption journey, Josh & Cheryl...they are WAITING too!

                                     ...the enormous ballroom courtesy of the University of Louisville Shelby Campus and our friend Rob who got it for us :)

Adoption Dinner

For those of you who are coming or thinking about coming to our dinner, here is some more info. 
We have to give the caterer our final number a week before the dinner, so we do need solid RSVPs by then, preferably with payment for the dinner. We understand how annoying that is, but we really can't afford to go in the hole right now, for obvious reasons ;) 
GOOD NEWS-If you have a paypal account (if you don't, it's EASY to get one), you can pay for your dinner online right now! Yay! To the right close to the top of the blog page is a link to pay on paypal. Just a few clicks and you're done! 

About the dinner:

On the menu...
Chicken Cordon Bleu and Steak Au Poivre
Garlic Smashed Potatoes and Steamed Vegetables

For dessert:
A lovely cake by Angie Browning! 

TO be raffled: 
(this actually will be starting before the event...as soon as I get it ready)
- $20 raffle ticket for a 4 night vacation in Cancun (valued at $600)
-$5 raffle ticket for a $100 spafinder gift card 

Sneak peak to the silent auction:
- 5 caribbean vacations
- Experiences such as a hot air balloon ride, paintball tickets, lazer tag, Cincinnati Reds baseball, Keeneland, Churchill Downs, Dollywood, and more...
- Handmade items including baby quilts and crocheted baby blankets
- A variety of restaurant and entertainment gift cards

Top 5 reasons to come to our dinner:
5. You don't have to cook! 
4. It's cheaper than O'Charley's (you know you weren't going to cook 2 days after Thanksgiving)
3. It will be kid friendly OR it can be a date night
2. You can get all your Christmas shopping done without standing in line AND help a good cause
1. Obviously #1 = giving a forever family to an orphan. The blessings abound!

In His Hands

This week we freaked out to get Zachs Alabama child abuse check done quickly because our placing agency wanted to hand deliver our home study to Korea. They are leaving on our anniversary, November 6, which is perfect because Korea requires 3 years of marriage :) 

Our case worker is awesome because she called and called until she got an answer. I sent an email begging them to hurry up and got scolded ;) because it's forbidden for families to call. Haha. :)

So now we wait for Jonah. This anniversary is even sweeter than the ones before it :) 

Home study ✅

We just got the call that our home study was approved by AIAA so I guess that's a good thing! 

We had our home visit Saturday and she wrote it quickly for us ;) kinda think we might be her favorites! 

We also heard today that the two waiting children we had heard about are most likely not going to get matched with us for some vague reason we don't understand. I'm waiting on a call with more information on that but as we have been reminded constantly, it's in God's hands and His timing is perfect. 

Some people have asked about making donations, which is such a wonderful blessing! We are more than happy to take donations but we have told people that they may want to hold on for a little while longer in the hopes that we will be approved for Lifesong, which is a 501C agency, thus making your donations tax deductible. If you don't care about that, by all means, donations are awesome and we will gladly accept them! 

A little bit about Lifesong. Their website is lifesongfororphans.org if you would like to read more about them. We have heard great things so we are planning to apply for any kind of assistance we can get through them. We had to wait because you can't apply until home study is complete. Now that it's done we just need to get the official copy and fill out the application. It could be quick or take up to 12 weeks. We just don't know.

What we are applying for:

1. Fundraising assistance-meaning any donations would go through them and go to our agency for our adoption fees

2. Matching grants-if approved, they would match up to a certain amount of what we raise

3. Interest free loan- this is generally a loan for the amount that we will eventually get back from the Federal Tax Credit (around $12,000)

4. Both Hands- this is a great ministry where you get a group of friends/family to get sponsors for a day of working on the home of a local widow. All the money raised goes toward the adoption, but someone else got a huge blessing in the process. We're not sure how this will work out with winter fast approaching but it might be an option in the spring. 

Basically Lifesong is a lifesaver! 

If anyone has any questions you can certainly call or email us. 

So far this is a rollercoaster of paperwork and waiting! Looking forward to the part where it gets fun! 

This is the part where we wait

The last week has been a bit of a whirlwind. We went to an adoption conference last weekend and ran into the director of our home study agency, Julie. Julie told us that AIAA (our placing agency) has been looking for a family for a 9 month old boy. We know very little about him so far except that he was born at 34 weeks and is developing normally but is small. We didn't realize we could get a referral before our home study was done so we were a little shocked! 

We are still waiting to hear if we get the referral because there is another interested couple. We did get a formal request to view our home study over the weekend from AIAA so that seems like a good thing. We just got it notarized and will send it on tomorrow :) 

If we get the referral and decide to pursue this child, we could bring him home in 4-6 months!

Please be praying that we will be patient, that we will continue to trust that God knows what He is doing, that we will have a clear answer, and that if we do pursue this child that we will be able to pull the finances together much much faster than originally planned. Whew! 

silent auction preview

Just throwing out a little teaser...we will be auctioning off and possible selling raffle tickets for 5, yes that's right, 5 CARRIBEAN VACATIONS.

So if you have always wanted to go to Saint Lucia (our lovely honeymoon destination), Antigua, Barbados, or Panama, here is your chance to get a giant discount! 

I must add that there is fine print. The donated packages are for accommodations only at all inclusive resorts so there is a fee for each night that covers food, activities, etc.  The good news is some of them are for up to 2-3 rooms though. Regardless of the fee it is a great deal! 

Mark your calendars- silent auction November 30! 

Ps. We will be doing some online auctions for those who can't make it ;) 

Waiting on a little bump...

Haha! I'm not pregnant! The bump is Zach's TB test. :)

We gave our first giant pile of paperwork to our case worker and then we got another pile in the mail from our placing agency-- the formal application. 

For the formal application, one requirement was that we had to go to the doctor all over again to get yet another medical form, which included TB test. 

The other requirement with the formal application is pictures for Korea. We have to have pictures of us together and individually, pictures of our hobbies/interests, and pictures of our home. 

So the first thing we did was start on the nursery. It doesn't have to be ready for a kiddo yet but we wanted it to look like a nursery. We don't have a crib or other furniture yet but we did get it painted, put up curtains and put in a rug (which Shelby already chewed).  

Now we just need to clean up the rest of the house for the other pictures and get that silly bump (TB) looked at.

We're also going to an adoption conference, Together for Adoption, next week here in Louisville. We have to get 10 hours of education for the adoption so I would imagine a 2 day conference will take care of that. 

We're still gearing up for the dinner and silent auction as well. We've gotten some very cool donations but we are still very short of the goal. I've been trying to make phone calls in my "free time" (what's that!?) If anyone has any suggestions or know people, certainly give me a shout! 

And most of all, pray for patience! 

What a month!

Well the day after my last post, my mom called to say my dad was in the emergency room. He had a brain bleed and needed surgery.  Two surgeries and 3 weeks later it seems we are out of the woods, though he is still healing. That consumed all of our energy for a few weeks there but we're starting to get back to normal now. I'm so glad God brought him through- I so want my kids to know their grandparents, especially since I grew up without either of my grandfathers.  

We had our yard sale yesterday. We didn't make a ton of money BUT it was a huge blessing to have several people show up, most total strangers, and give us generous donations for the adoption. What a blessing :).  True story- I made a poster explaining what we're doing and it had a picture of us when we were engaged. Several people thought Zach was the one being adopted because he looks so young! Ha! 

So this is the big week! Home study is scheduled to begin on Thursday Sept 12! We almost have all of the paperwork together- just waiting on a few letters from friends and employers ;) 

We will meet with our case worker, Rebecca, on Thursday, at the Adoption Assistance Inc office in Middletown. I have no idea what to expect but she said to bring water... Whatever that means ;)

Our placing agency, AAIA has confused us a little, but they are finally sending the formal application for their program this week. We're about to start writing a lot of checks, so please be praying for us! God will provide what we need-we just need to remember that and not freak out ;)

Woot!

My doctor never sent the letter but I did ;). They emailed today to say we can move forward. :) I was so worried for so long that our medical stuff would be the barrier but now we are past that. There could still be roadblocks but at least we know its not crazy for us to even try 

 Filled out the pre-application today and will mail it tomorrow. Home study is next! 

Finally... Something!

Finally got the letter from my doctor on Friday! It only took 3 months, 3 faxes and weekly phone calls ;)

Next step is to wait on a "pre-approval" from either or both of the agencies. Basically we would like to get a little warning now if Korea is not going to accept our medical issues. 

After we get the ok (positive thinking here), we will pick the agency that we will use for Korea. We have already chosen a local agency, but they have to go through another agency for Korea. 

If all goes well with medical letters, we can start the home study process in September!! Praise The Lord! 

Fundraising...

Fundraising ...
is incredibly humbling. 
I have spent weeks making a list of local businesses to contact for donations. Today I am editing my lists and doing as many requests online as possible to save paper/stamps. 
For those who have not heard, we are having an Adoption Dinner with Silent Auction on November 30. More info to come when I figure it out. ;)
We are also going to do a yard sale in 5 weeks because the neighborhood is sponsoring it, not because yard sales are my thing ;)

I will admit the first time someone asked me to support their adoption, I was a little confused, but once I knew more about the process I was honored to help out, and wished I could give them everything they needed immediately. It's easy for someone to wonder,  "why on earth do people choose international adoption when it costs so much?"  It's also easy for someone to assume that "2 people with good jobs should be able to come up with the money on their own." I wouldn't blame anyone for having those questions, so let me answer them...just in case.

1. Why international (when domestic seems like it would be cheaper)? 
-Actually, we have researched domestic as well. It's only a slight bit cheaper, depending on the agency, because you generally don't have to travel around the world. We have not completely ruled out domestic, but we feel led to Korea. 
Also, just a little FYI-Domestic adoption in Kentucky also requires that the infants are in foster care with you for the first 20 days, giving the birth parents time to change their minds. While that is awesome for birth parents, I'm not sure I can handle knowing that my child might be taken away.

2. Why can't 2 people with good jobs raise the money?
Good question. Why can't we? We could but it would take like 5 years and I'm not getting any younger.  We have all the normal costs that everyone else our age has (house, cars, medical bills, broken AC, root canals..). I don't know of any peers in our age group who have this kind of money sitting around....

Some details about adoption in Korea:
- adoption cost will be approximately $28,340
- travel will be at least $2-3000 but could be more if we are required to travel twice
- Korea has an unspoken rule that they want to see that you have a good amount of money saved beyond the adoption costs, enough to support the child

BUT the good news:
- the Federal Adoption Tax Credit refunds (through taxes) up to $13,160 for adoption expenses
- Zach's employer will refund $8000 (after the fact)

We do not have $30,000 sitting around, though that would make it so easy. Adoption is not easy but we believe God will provide what we need to do this. We are incredibly blessed by an employer with adoption assistance and so grateful that the tax credit was continued, but we will have to pay that money up front and be reimbursed later. The other issue is that I will need to stay home with our kiddo for 10-12 weeks, which will mean no income for me during that time.  We are both working hard to save money for both the adoption and the time afterwards. We know kids aren't cheap!

Part of the reason we do fundraising is because we need to bridge the gap between what will be covered later and what will not be reimbursed at all. We are hoping to raise $4-5000 to help offset those costs. The other reason we are doing this is because we have been a part of helping others raise funds for their adoption and it was a blessing to us to be part of it.  We want our friends/family to have the opportunity to be a part of that blessing as well. We all know how good it feels to give someone the perfect gift and see the joy it gives them- how much better would it be to experience that feeling when you help someone bring home a child who desperately needs someone to love him (or her). I know when I have helped friends, even in small ways, it has blessed me tremendously.  I am a "fixer"- I hate when people are desperate for something in their life and want to help them. This is an opportunity to be that help.

This is the quote I remember when I get tired of working my 3 jobs...
"My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much.  When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him." -Derek Loux

We don't want anyone to feel obligated to give us large sums of money. We want those who love us and support us to give if and how they feel led. If they feel led to pray for us or come help us paint the nursery, we will be blessed.  If they come eat at our dinner and do their Christmas shopping at our auction, we will be blessed. If we get encouragement, we will be blessed!

It's true that we want to be a family, but even more than that, we want to give a child a family. I can't think of anything we have ever or will ever do that is more important.
                             

Why international?

This article is very helpful
http://www.parents.com/blogs/goodyblog/2013/01/why-international-adoption-matters/

Let the paperwork begin...

Our most recent accomplishments have been sending off paperwork for various background checks and figuring out 10 years worth of addresses.  We both have appointments this week to get fingerprinted for the FBI background check. We're still waiting on letters from our doctors (argh!) but  I'm about to get pushy ;)
Shelby doesn't seem to want me to write much more so this will be a boring post. If you'd like to subscribe to this blog, go to the bottom of the page and put in your email address :)

Korea Details

We have been trying to decide between Holt, the agency Zach was adopted through, and Adoption Assistance Inc/AAIA.

We met with Julie at Adoption Assistance Inc., here in Louisville, yesterday. Her agency works closely with AAIA, an agency in Michigan, for Korean adoptions. They are a much smaller agency than Holt so the process would be faster if we go with them.  It would also be faster if we are willing to accept a child with mild special needs.  Sometime in the near future we will have to fill out a medical checklist saying what we would consider. So many medical conditions that they would consider serious in Korea are very minor to us.  Luckily Korea is a country where the moms generally choose to put their child up for adoption and give a full medical history, unlike China where many are abandoned. Korea also does foster care instead of orphanages, so there are a lot of positives in that as far as child development and health.

A home study can take 4-6 weeks and we don't have to wait for our anniversary to get started. So sometime in September, we can get started on the home study. Guess we can wait til then to clean ;)

Most likely we will get a boy, but we will not request a specific gender.  There are a lot of requests for girls, so it is a much longer wait for a girl. I'd love a girl someday but I know Zach wants a boy first.  :)

The days of having a 3 month old show up at the airport are definitely long gone.  Korean babies are not even eligible for international adoption until they are 5 months old, because they want to encourage domestic adoption within their own country. After that we may get a referral but it could take up to a year or so to be cleared for travel.  Overall, the process once we start our home study, could take about 12-18 months. We may come home with a 10-24 month old child!  We may even have to take 2 trips to Korea- one for a court date and the other to pick up our child.  Luckily they have discounted adoption travel!

One thing I was glad to hear is that you pay the fees before you go to Korea, so we won't have to strap large amounts of cash to our bodies. Believe it or not that was one of my big worries!

How are we gonna pay for this? Well... There will be some fundraising for sure. But we are so happy the adoption tax credit was made permanent this year, so we can get a large chunk back later. Zach also gets adoption assistance from his employer, so that's a huge blessing. Plus, I recently started a new job and the extra money should help significantly.  God has just lined things up for us.

So the name of the game is waiting...and we are waiting. Right now we are waiting for our doctors letters.  The next step will be picking an agency and completing an application. In the meantime, we'll enjoy our sleep (what little the puppy allows us), work on our house, save money, and pray for the mom who is making one of the hardest decisions any mom can make.

Please pray with us!

Step 1... Hundred

My mom called this step one, but really the adoption journey started a long time ago for us. 

Zach was adopted at 3 months, from South Korea, so it began at birth for him.  His 2 younger brothers were also adopted from Korea. Coincidentally, Zach and I met on the 25th anniversary of his gotcha day. 

I'm not sure where it all began for me but I'm sure it had something to do with being raised in an adoptive family. My parents adopted my brother 2 years before they had me. It was not exactly a smooth ride for our family, but I always admired my parents for their choice. I know some people view adopted kids as different, but I fought with my brother just like biological siblings do! ;)

I think I became more conscious of what I believe to be a God-given desire to adopt, when I was in college. I went on 3 mission trips to orphanages in Mexico and Guatemala, where I repeatedly fell in love with sweet orphaned kids.  I couldn't understand how they could possibly be unwanted and treated so badly. I remember one little boy in Guatemala in particular.  His name was Sammy and he was as adorable as they get.  He loved being hugged and I was happy to oblige. 

At some point it just became clear to me that I couldn't fathom bringing more kids into the world when there are so many who have no family. There is a statistic floating around that says "if 6% of the born again Christians in the world adopted, we could care for all of the adoptable orphans in the world." 6%?! Holy cow! I understand that people want the experience of having their own flesh and blood form a life inside them. It truly is a miracle to experience that. But to me, there are millions of miracles out there that no one has acknowledged.

Some people know this, but I had decided I would adopt, single or married, long before I met Zach. That was also long before some of my health issues showed up. I'm not a big fan of sharing my health issues with people, but close friends and family know. I am comfortable sharing that I probably COULD have biological children, but I probably SHOULD NOT. One of my many health issues is that I have arthritis in my back and hips. This means pregnancy would be very very uncomfortable for me, and I would not be able to give birth naturally.  Many women would have a hard time with hearing that type of news from their doctor, but for me it was just more confirmation of what I already knew in my heart, that I should be an adoptive mom. 

So what have we been waiting for? Well... Korea requires that adoptive parents be married for 3 years. Plus Zach just finished graduate school. 

As I said, this is not step one. This has been in our hearts for a long time. We have been doing research on countries, adoption agencies, the difference between domestic and international, etc. We're just finally at the point where we can get some things started officially. 

So here we go...

My friend Amy works at Adoption Assistance Inc. She works in Lexington, but they also have Kentucky offices.  They do both international and domestic, so we may go with them. I don't know much but here is their website: http://www.adoptionassistance.com/FAQ.asp

And so it begins.  This is starting as a place to keep information but eventually I hope it will be a place to share our experiences.